How to Play Asshole (aka President) – Official Card Game Rules

Here are the official rules on how to play the drinking card game Asshole (aka President).

Start Up

• All cards in the deck (minus jokers) are dealt out clockwise, one at a time, starting with the Asshole (loser of the last game.)

Objective of the Game

• The object of the game is to get rid of all your cards before anyone else, the first one to do so is President. The last person to do so is labeled the Asshole.

General Gameplay

• The order of cards from lowest to highest is 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, J, Q, K, A, with 2 and 3 being special cards. The suite of the card does not matter in this game. A pair of any kind is higher than a single (so two 3’s is higher than a single ace), any triple higher than any double, etc. Four of a kind will clear the round.

Roles in the Game

• President: The last person who won is the President. This means that you will get to give your worst card to the Asshole in exchange for their best. You may also make anyone drink at anytime for anything you want to. Depending on the rules you may have to win a certain number of games before you can become the official President.
• Asshole: You where the last person with cards in the previous round. This means you must deal, clear the cards, as well forfeit your best card to the President in exchange for their worst.
• Everyone Else: Depending on how many people you have, you can make up “official” sounding positions for them such as Vice President, Secretary, Clerk, Senoir Asshole, etc.

Special Cards

• 2 – Clear (♣♠♥♦): This card is a clear, no matter what is played this card clears the round and the person who uses it goes again with a fresh round.
• 3 – Wild (♣♠♥♦): This is a wild card or two 3’s played is a clear. A player may choose its value to be anything except a 2. Note that this card DOES NOT take the place of a natural card (to skip a player or count towards the completing of a number set.)
• 4 of Clubs (♣): Before there is a President, the player with the 4 of clubs starts the game by laying down that card only.

Popular Rules Made by Presidents

• Thumb Master Any time the President puts down their thumb the last person to follow must drink.
• Eye Contact Anyone who makes eye contact with the President must drink.
• Beer Bitch The President picks one person for the job of getting everyone beer at the table.
• Little Man Everyone has a pretend “little man” on the lip of their beer, and they must remove him with their fingers and place him on the table, drink, then put him back on each time they take a drink. If anyone forgets to do this they must drink.
• No Names Anyone who uses a person’s name at the table must drink.
• Before the hand starts, someone must give the President a toast (this is an opportune time to kiss-ass to the President). If no toast is presented, the President can give out his own punishment.
• There is a “social” (everyone must drink) when three cards of the same value are played in one round. Not only for three cards played by different people, but also for triples!
• Then there is the board meeting. Everyone starts drinking and is not allowed to stop drinking until the person above him stops drinking (i.e. the VP cannot stop until the Pres. stops, the Tres. cannot stop until the VP stops, et cetera). As you can see, this another disadvantage of being the asshole (low man on the totem pole). Only the President can call a board meeting.

The point of Asshole is to get creative, especially when it comes to rules.

Strategy for Not Being the Asshole

To some degree, you have to learn the strategy by playing, but here are a few tips.

• The most important skill in this game is to be able to count the cards and keep track of which cards have already been played.
• Another important tip is to make sure that you keep some of your high cards for later stages of the round. If you are left with a 3 and 4 in your hand, your chances of becoming Asshole are pretty high. You need to have cards that will allow you to get the lead so that you can dump the low cards that you have not been able to get rid of.
• Sometimes it may be wise to split a high pair. For example, if you have a pair of aces, there may be situations where it is better to play the aces individually than as a pair. This will really depend on what the rest of your hand looks like.
• If you have 2 cards left and one of them is a 2, always play the 2 first. Let’s say you have a 2 and a 10 left. If you play the 10 first somebody may go out while you are waiting the play to come back around to you. You also run the risk of getting skipped on the way back around. If you play the 2 first, it is swept and then you play your 10 and are out.
• Kiss ass to the president whenever possible.
• Unless you are looking to get really trashed, make others drink whenever possible. This will improve your odds of moving up the ranks and not being an asshole.

So have fun, don’t drive drunk, and don’t be an asshole.